In my book, The Bad Kitty Handbook – A Journey Toward Authentic Female Sensuality, I give a list of the changes that will happen in your life when you truly own your Bad Kitty. Over the next few weeks, we’ll go over some of these in detail.
This week is “A Bad Kitty is someone who – Knows the Power of Being a Girl.”
Being strong can be also feminine. I don’t think feminine equals being weak. Being strong is very sexy.
Sanaa Lathan
When I do my classes I ask women if they believe this. They always enthusiastically answer “Oh, Ya!” Then, sometimes, as the class goes on, I’m not so sure they really do. What does it really mean to own your power as a woman?
A lot of us, unfortunately, end up trying to be more male in order to be powerful. What happens when we do this is we become hard, unhappy, harsh and often we feel disconnected. We may not be able to identify why we feel this way at times. With male energy and power so prevalent in our society it makes sense that we feel we need to be more “male” in order to succeed, especially in the corporate world. This message creates that disconnection because we aren’t honoring the incredible – and very different – sort of power we have as women.
Men’s power comes from a place of control.
Women’s power comes from a place of connection.
Men’s power comes from a sense of purpose.
Women’s power comes from following our passion.
Men are directed.
Women are flow.
We all have male and female energy. The majority of women have more female energy, however due to our male controlled society we tend to ignore it, try to hide it or suppress it all together much to our – and everyone else’s – detriment.
To truly understand your power as a woman you not only need to understand what feminine power is, you also need to understand YOU. One of the biggest destroyers of feminine power is when we try to live up to what others want instead of what we want.
Have you ever heard:
- I can’t do that, it would make my husband angry.
- My kids would never understand.
- My parents would die!
- Oh, no, not that – what if my friends found out?
- I simply can’t, what about my job?
Owning your power is living on your own terms. This isn’t the same as being a selfish bitch. We’ve all met those. They are usually covering up for not feeling truly connected to her power. A truly powerful woman knows where she’s going and what she wants AND she is loving and caring of others she comes into contact with along her journey. Because she knows what she wants, she’s willing to support others to get what they want. A truly powerful woman shares her power with and inspires others.
How can you feel and express your power?
- Do some soul searching to discover what your true passion is. It often helps to look back to your youth to see a pattern in what gets you excited or touches your heart.
- Look at the people around you. Are they supporting you or tearing you down? If they are tearing you down, are they doing it deliberately or unconsciously? The latter you can educate in what you need to feel supported. The former needs to be purged from your life.
- Ask for help. Be clear about your needs. Powerful does not mean you can do everything. It means you could AND you know you need support to prevent burn out.
- Do something daily that feeds your spirit.
- Celebrate your successes – large or small – as they happen.
- Do something at least once a week that causes you to be impressed with yourself. And celebrate your willingness to go out of your comfort zone.
Power doesn’t have to be on such a big scale for powerful things to occur. Within your own home, you can be a powerful woman as a mother, influencing your children’s lives.
Jill Scott
You know you’re powerful. Now’s the time to make sure everyone else knows it to! You can change the world around you, and maybe the entire world, by owning your power. Go Wonderful Woman, go!
Hugs, Christie