Yesterday I was listening to the radio and they asked people to call or text in to answer the question: Who comes first in your family- your spouse or your children? One woman called in to say her kids. She insisted that she and her husband had had enough time together when they were dating and now it was all about the kids and if he didn’t like it, too bad. I feel sory for her hubby – and her kids – because that relationship isn’t going to last long! Another called in and talked about how her relationship comes first and how they make sure to spend time together every day, even if it’s only 10 minutes at the beginning or end of the day. She spoke about how it made her family stronger and everyone happier. Thankfully the consensus at the end, including texts, was that your spouse should come first.
I wanted to call in and give my two cents but couldn’t get through, so you get to hear it now.
For thosse of you who read me on a regular basis or have taken any of my classes, you probably already know what I’m going to say – the most important person in your family, the one you have to look after first, is YOU!
Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. – Lucille Ball
As you may recall, one of the definitions of a Bad Kitty is: knows that by being true to herself she has more to give others.
Mommy needs to nurture herself. Whether you put your kids or your hubby first, if you don’t put yourself first of all every thing will revolve around them, which can only lead to disappointment. Tell me if any of these sound familiar.
- you want your kids to behave a certain way and no matter what you do, they just don’t seem to do exactly what you want
- you want your kids to go in a certain direction in their lives and they go someplace completely different
- you want your partner to do something for you and he doesn’t quite do it to your satisfaction
When we live our lives with others coming first and foremost, all of our expectations for ourselves become part of our expectations for them. If we aren’t living up to them, how can we expect others to?
One of the fears of motherhood is hearing from your child that they hate you or that you’re a bad mom; that you failed somehow. No one is perfect, but when you
pour everything you have into someone else and they dont’ respect it, ouch, that’s a big sting!
The only way to fight the inevitable hurt when a child throws something in your face, which will more often than not happen, especially in the dreaded teen years, is to have a life outside your kids. Feeding yourself will be more of an example and more of a growth giver than all the pampering and special attention you can bestow.
This doesn’t mean ignoring your kids by any means. The dreaded word “balance” comes into play. Nurture your children, love your family AND be sure to do the same for yourself.
The name of the game is taking care of yourself, becasue you’re going to live long enough to wish you had. ~Grace Mirabella
I talk to so many women who have grown children who have no idea what to do with themselves. The fact is, your child will grow up and become independent (moreso if you give them to tools to do so) and you will be left wondering where the years went. It’s up to you to keep your life your life in their younger years so you can enjoy it long after they move on.
Put yourself first, feed your spirit, love yourself and the gifts you want to give your family will follow.
Be Beautiful, Be YOU and allow yoru family to do the same.
Hugs, Christie