In my book, The Bad Kitty Handbook – A Journey Toward Authentic Female Sensuality, I give a list of the changes that will happen in your life when you truly own your Bad Kitty. Over the next few weeks, we’ll go over some of these in detail.
This week is “A Bad Kitty is someone who – Loves being a girl.”
There are so many pressures that are put upon young women. Whatever we can do to alleviate that and help women feel beautiful about who we are inside, which is the only beauty there truly is, is so nice. Let’s get down and dirty. Let’s be a real girl. ~ Drew Barrymore
When I was younger I hated being a girl. I thought being a girl meant you were weak, put upon, somehow less than others. There were many examples of that in my early years. Feminism was on the rise so you would hear all about how women were fighting to be equal because, apparently, up until then we hadn’t been. That was in my subconscious. In my young life there were other examples of this fact that hit me square in the face.
From my book:
“One example of how girls were less than boys came in Grade 3. My teacher was Mrs. Horseman, my favorite teacher in the school. I loved her because she was tall, beautiful, nice, creative and she had the word Horse in her name. We were reading a book about Mr.Mugs the big shaggy sheepdog going into space. We built a spaceship as part of the process. When we were done with that section, she asked who would like to take the spaceship home. A boy – who I had a crush on – and I both put up our hands so she asked us to pick a number between 1 and 10. I was closest and was so excited. Then Mrs.Horseman crushed my world and my opinion of her and, I’m sure, many persons of authority to come, by saying, ‘I’m going to give it to Mark because this is more a boy’s toy.’
That clinched it. Being a girl sucked!”
When I finally became a “woman” I was resigned to being female. Still, I didn’t feel the joy of being so. I didn’t get attention from boys. My younger sister was called the “pretty one” so I assumed that meant I was the ugly one. When my sister got engaged at 17, I still hadn’t even had my first boyfriend. She’s two years younger, so do the math. Many of my friends knew how to flirt and loved to use their “feminine whiles” to get what they wanted. I was pretty sure I didn’t have such things.
My step father abused me for a short time in my high school years. The one thing that stood out to me more than his actions was one thing he said, “I’m doing this because you’re sexier than your sister, but she knows it.” And that was supposed to teach me to be sexier? If it brought that kind of attention when I wasn’t trying, why would I want to show it off?
Well, as anyone who knows me can see, I’ve gotten over these early messages. What sort of messages did you get in your youth about the inferiority if being a girl or mixed messages about what it means to be a woman are you still living by? What insecurities do you have about yourself in general or as a woman specifically?
Once you identify these messages, you can decide if they work for you or not. It’s time to make decisions from a place of strength and confidence rather than from old messages.
How can you do that?
- Admire your body. Enjoy your female peaks and valleys. Think about all the amazing things your body can do like carrying children, giving and receiving love, bearing burdens, showing emotion and so on.
- Dance! Nothing expresses the joy and sensuality of being a woman like dance.
- Write down the messages you got that don’t serve you and have a ceremony to release them.
- Embrace your passion whether it’s children, animals, art, the environment or any other number of things. Live your life honoring what gets you juiced up.
- Connect with other women. Feed off each other’s energy. Give your love and wisdom to other women.
I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they’re the first to be rescued off sinking ships. ~Gilda Radner
Say it after me – I enjoy being a girl! Now go out and have some fun with it!
Hugs, Christie