In my book, The Bad Kitty Handbook – A Journey Toward Authentic Female Sensuality, I give a list of the changes that will happen in your life when you truly own your Bad Kitty. Over the next few weeks, we’ll go over some of these in detail.
This week is “A Bad Kitty is someone who – Creates her dreams.”
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
In my work I’ve run into so many women who not only have put their dreams on hold, they have forgotten about them completely. A couple of years ago I did a workshop for Discovery Toys representatives. At the start I asked them to tell me their name, why they got into the business and a big dream. The first woman, when she got to the dream, stopped dead. She sat there agonizing trying to come up with an answer. Finally she asked the other women for help. They reminded her she had always wanted to make a CD of her singing.
How many times has someone asked you about your big dream have you hesitated to answer? Either you couldn’t remember it or you thought it seemed ridiculous or unattainable?
The other thing that happens to many women is that we modify our dreams for others. We either make it smaller so we won’t be ridiculed or we make it about others. “My big dream is – um – to finish my book.” (Even though the real dream is to be a best selling author). “My big dream is – er – for my kids to be happy and successful.” (Lovely and noble and what do YOU want to feel happy and successful?)
To truly be who you are, express your uniqueness and love your life, it’s time to take hold of your dreams once more!
Start by making selfish goals. These are goals that have nothing to do with anyone else. They don’t require the participation of others to make it happen. For example, “Go to Paris” rather than “Go to Paris with my husband.” What if your husband has no desire to go to Paris? What if he gets ill and can’t join you? Having your son graduate from medical school is a lovely intention and it’s reliant on his participation. It is not a selfish goal.
Make big and small goals. Write without censorship keeping in mind that they must be for YOU. They are things that excite you, make you grin like a fool and maybe even scare you a little. Open up your thoughts for the possibility of something unexpected! The intention is to write at least 50 selfish goals. If that’s too much to start because it’s been so long since you’ve thought about yourself first, start with 10 and add to it as the juices get stirred up.
Once you’ve made (or started) your list, start doing them! Choose one small thing per week to do. When you do it, celebrate. If it’s a one time goal (like going sky diving), check it off the list. If it’s a repeatable goal (like getting a pedicure), keep it on the list and keep doing it.
Take a large goal (like the trip to Paris) and choose a small step each week (like setting aside $50) to make that goal happen. Celebrate the small steps and keep moving toward it.
“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.” Joy Page
I was recently asked how to keep momentum for doing the things we love – which would be the biggest dream of all. Here are some suggestions.
– every night make a plan for one small step you’re going to take the following day and schedule it in
– celebrate every step you make in some way; it can be anything from pushing an EASY button, doing a little dance, having a treat, doing a fist pump; whatever works for you
– create a vision board that illustrates the results of your journey that you desire
– take a few minutes everyday to see and feel in vivid detail what you want to accomplish
– schedule “me” time for something fun/refreshing into every day so you don’t overload yourself with “must do”
– when the little voice starts up and says you can’t/are too tired or whatever messages it likes to repeat to you say back to it “thank you for sharing, I’m up to something else”
– have an accountability partner – or many – that you connect with daily or weekly who will hold you to your intentions
Have fun creating your dreams, beautiful kitties!
Hugs, Christie