August has been a month of inspiration for me. I was in Edinburgh, Scotland with my man, sister and brother in law for the first part of the month. In addition to castles, caverns and churches we went to shows at the largest Fringe in the world. That’s a story in and of itself! Then home for the second largest Fringe in the world. At both Fringes I saw good, mediocre and poor shows. Shows that inspired and shows that made me laugh.
For inspiration, one of the shows I saw here at home was Marathon written and performed by Fringe veteran, TJ Dawe. TJ has been on a growth and discovery path over the past few years and these themes appear in his shows. One of the topics he discussed in this show was the three instincts from the Enneagram personality system.
The Three Instincts are:
- Self Preservation: This is the instinct to be sure you are safe and taken care of. This instinct features a great deal of independence and desire for comfort. It is a gathering of energy.
- Sexual: Despite the name, this is not all about sex. This instinct is about one on one connection and seeking new experiences. It is a giving/releasing of energy.
- Social: This instinct leads to seeking the company of others. It is a sharing of energy.
Everyone has all three instincts. We all have one that’s our fallback, the one that makes us feel safest.
- Self Preservation types are the ones who over pack for trips “just in case”. They always have water and snacks with them. Everything about their surroundings is about being sure that there are no surprises and they won’t have to ask for help.
- Sexual types look for chances to take risks. They often do things alone or with one other person. They like to be stimulated and surprised.
- Social: types love to be around groups. They will make sure that they go out with lots of friends. They look for ways to connect with many people at a time. They feel best surrounded by others.
We also all have one that’s in balance. It exists in us without running our life.
The third instinct will be our challenge. It’s the one we have to make an effort to cultivate. Not sure what it is? Look at your life and if it’s the one you “brag” about when you do it, that’s your challenge spot. Proud when you remember your water bottle? Self Preservation is your challenge. Pat yourself on the back when you do something new? Sexual is hard for you.
For me, it’s Social. When I’m in a social situation I can appear very comfortable as I’ve been working on it for years. However, I always have anxiety and have to talk myself into going to anything in a group. Especially if it’ll be mostly strangers. Then, when I do get myself to go, I make a big deal out of it. I’ll list it in my successes for the day. I’ll pat myself on the back. I may even tell someone else about how amazing I was because I talked to two new people! Wowzers.
I thought for sometime as to which of the three instincts are my strong point. Without doing a full analysis based on the Enneagram method, this is what I’ve concluded.
I switch back and forth between Self Preservation and Sexual depending on how I’m feeling about myself.
When I feel lost or unsure of myself, I’m all about Self Preservation. All I want to do is stay safe. I’ll worry about the future. I’ll make sure I have as much safe padding around me as possible so I don’t feel out of control. I get more introspective and withdraw.
When I’m feeling good about myself and my direction, I’m all about the Sexual instinct. I put myself out there. I take risks. I speak boldly. I’m creative and out of the box. Self Preservation still exists (I tend to have water and snacks with me) but it’s more secondary, more in balance.
So, what does this all mean? Well, to be completely honest, I’m not sure. I found this concept very interesting and wanted to share it. I think it’s important to be aware of how we function and what makes us tick, what runs us. I look forward to learning more and getting more insights on how these manifest in my life.
This information has really helped me see my patterns. Awareness allows us to be clear about what we need to go forward and what is holding us back.
Knowing that I struggle with the Social instinct (which is really not a surprise) helps me put more attention on building it up.
Knowing that I flip flop between Self Preservation and Sexual helps me be aware of when I’m in my passion and when I’m struggling with direction. This awareness can help me seek solutions to the latter.
I’d be curious to hear what your thoughts are on the Three Instincts. What are your strengths and challenges and how does it manifest in your life?
Have a PURRfect day!
Hugs, Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
thebadkittyis@gmail.com