Sexy. What a loaded word. When you hear it what do you see in your mind? A slender woman in a bikini on a beach with her back slightly arched and one leg bent? A man with his jeans down around his hips, shirt off with a coy smile and defined six pack? A larger woman owning her body working her positive attitude? A balding man listening to you intently as you talk about your bad day? A woman dressed in a form hugging dress and 4″ stillettos? A tall man in jeans that cup his butt? An older woman who owns her wrinkles? A small man with a large personality?
What is sexy? Let’s start by talking about what it is not:
- It is NOT how you dress. A slit up to your hip or down to your belly button can be sexy and so can a high neck and long skirt – it just depends who is wearing it.
- It is NOT how you look. Short, tall, slim, heavy, light, dark, fit, fluffy, scars, smooth skinned, however you happen to look – no matter how far from the media ideal – you can be sexy.
- It is NOT sexual. Sexy really has very little to do with sex. It is about who you are.
Sexy is about what draws people to you. It is an aura you carry with you. It is a way of being that portrays your best self in every situation.
There are Seven Secrets of Sexy. If you have, or can cultivate, these seven things, you are sexy. The more you have, the sexier you are.
- Authenticity: People who are truly themselves are always sexy. It’s a hard quality to quantify as it’s more a feeling. We can always tell when someone is being true. Sometimes people can fool us for a short time, but eventually the cracks begin to show when someone isn’t fully authentic. Cultivate your own truth. Live by your own values. Know what is important to you. When you honor yourself, it shows and others are drawn to it because it’s a rare and super-sexy quality.
- Confidence: Confidence and authenticity go hand in hand. When you really know yourself, you are automatically confident. Confidence allows you to speak your truth. It gives you the strength to ask for what you want and need without reservation. Confidence shines through in how you dress, how you carry yourself, how you speak, how you treat others. True confidence is admired – and totally sexy.
- Positive Attitude: Negative people are not sexy. They give off a vibe that makes others uncomfortable and unhappy. A positive attitude, on the other hand, lifts others up. People love to be around those who make them feel good. Feeling good and loving life is definitely sexy.
- Kind/Loving: Treating others with respect and love comes from all of the above. When we are authentic, confident and positive we are more patient with others. In our busy society it’s easy to forget that other people have feelings. That there is often a good reason for what they do – if we just took the time to find out. That everyone needs to be treated with kindness. Live by the Golden Rule and you will definitely be sexy.
- Playful: Loving life creates a sense of play. Playfulness is an attitude and a way of life. An easy laugh, a funny comment, a sense of joy are all playful. So is running toward the swings at the playground you pass on your evening walk. When you are willing to play physically, emotionally and in conversation your sexy side is obvious to the world.
- Fearless: When we are fearful, we play small. That is not sexy. The fearless take risks. They push themselves personally, professionally and physically. They play big. They don’t hide from a challenge. You don’t have to be a secret agent to be sexy. Just take a risk or two.
- Sensual: We’ve spoken about sensuality many times in this blog. Simply re-stated, be in touch with your senses. Whether it’s truly tasting your food, smelling the flowers, enjoying the feel of the fabric on your skin, appreciating a beautiful view. listening to your favorite music or using all your senses during sex – sensuality is a key to being sexy. It makes life so much more enjoyable and keeps you present in your life. Yep, that’s sexy.
It’s time to stand out. It’s time to own what makes YOU sexy. Use these Seven Secrets of Sexy and discover YOUR sexy side. You deserve it and the world needs to see more of these qualities of sexy.
Have a PURRfect – and super sexy – day!
Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty