Recently I was at an event where body image was one of the many issues
dealt with for the participants. One of the participants had revealed indirectly while sharing about other things that he had body issues. He was asked to come the next day prepared to reveal what he was insecure about and the other people in the room were asked to do the same to support him. The next day he was asked to strip down to reveal his “trouble” spots. He took off his shirt and spoke about his arms and chest. He was asked to observe the others and notice what sort of reaction we had to his obvious (to him) deformities. There was no cringing or disgust. Many gave him feedback that they liked those parts of him and admired him.
Next, the others in the group were asked to strip down and point to the parts they don’t like. Shirts and pants came off as everyone in the room stood and pointed to their stomachs, chests, thighs and so on. It’s touching to see all this support. It’s also sad to see how hard we are on ourselves and our beautiful, hard working bodies. The first person was asked to look at the people giving him support and he said how amazing they all were and couldn’t understand why they were self conscious.
It’s so true of us in so many situations. We see things that others don’t notice or don’t care about. We wrap ourselves up into knots wishing we were different, better, more perfect.
Have you ever had a day when you looked in the mirror and thought, “wow, I look amazing today!” Then the next day, even though you look the same, because something isn’t going right or you feel tired and overwhelmed, you think “I look awful today.” Nothing, in essence, has changed except our thoughts.
There was a day when all I saw were flaws. My chin was too big. My eyes too small. My lips too narrow. My stomach too bulgy. Too many stretch marks (especially for someone with no kids). Too much cellulite. Too flat a butt. Not a day went by when I didn’t look in the mirror and see myself as inferior.
When the body image exercise was being performed, I could honestly stay in my seat as I had nothing to point to. It’s not that I’ve “fixed” anything or that I’m a perfect specimen. It’s that I accept what I look like now. My chin is a sign of my strength. My eyes are a beautiful color. My lips love to smile. My stomach is soft, supple and natural. My stretch marks are a sign of growth. Cellulite is a fact of life. My butt is actually pretty hot.
I’ve shifted the way I see. Nothing has changed except what I tell myself. I recently saw a saying that puts it so well:
Change how you see, not how you look.
Acceptance and love of self is all about making a choice. Do I choose to see myself as wrong or perfect? Do I choose to see what I like or what I don’t? Do I choose to tell myself positive things or negative? Do I choose to accept compliments as truth or manipulation? Do I purr at myself in the mirror or hiss? It’s up to you. You have the power over the messages you give yourself.
It can be a long process and it’s worth it. Spend a little time every day telling yourself how incredible you look – especially if you don’t believe it. Accept the compliments others offer as a valuable gift rather than a lie. Look at your body and thank it for all it does for you every day. Are you able to digest food? Accept and give hugs? Be mobile? See? Hear? Touch? Taste? Can you give and receive love? Can you express yourself vocally, with body language and touch? Love your body for being so versatile and reliable – especially since we can be so hard on our bodies through our thoughts and actions.
You deserve to be able to say everyday, and not just once in awhile, as Bif Naked does – I love myself today!
Louise Hay said, “Love yourself as much as you can and all of life will mirror this love back to you.” When you begin to love and accept yourself you’ll be surprised how many others out there do the same. They were always there, you just couldn’t see them because your mirror was foggy. Clear it up and see anew!
You are beautiful and amazing just as you are – no changes required so get out there and Be Beautiful, Be YOU!
Hugs, Christie