Female Viagra – Yes or No?

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viagraI’m so tired of hearing about libido enhancers for women.  I’m tired of hearing the sex experts talk about all the ways you can help your libido through masturbation, role play, etc.

I think that most women have only one thing wrong with them.  They don’t feel loved.  Not from others, but from themselves.  Yes, there are women out there who are in abusive relationships.  Yes, I imagine there are some that suffer from a low libido.  (Although we could also argue that there’s no such thing as average, high or low, it’s just what you like!)

Let’s give everyone a break already.  The sex drive you have is the sex drive you have.  It’s like your weight.  There may be “standards” handed to us by society and the majority, but who says they’re right?  If you are happy the way you are and with what you have it’s certainly not wrong!  Plus, once you’re happy with what you have and the way you are you can CHOOSE from a place of power as to whether or not you want to make a change.

That’s the crux – being happy with you just as you are.  Women especially are so bombarded with expectations and because we are, in general, people pleasers, we want to live up to those expectations.  Unfortunately that doesn’t make anyone happy.  Not even the ones putting the expectations on us. There’s a great song – Ideal Woman – that illustrates just that.

So, since the expectations come from other flawed people that aren’t even sure what they really want, why should we try to live up to their idea of “perfection”?  The person that needs to be pleased is YOU!  Live up to your own expectations, dreams and integrity.  Only then will you be truly happy and fulfilled.

What does this have to do with sex and libido?  When women love themselves they have a better libido!  When we are constantly worried about other people – what they want, how we should act, if we look good enough – it’s no wonder our libido drops!  There’s too much to think about.  Loving yourself means not being constantly in your head so that you can let go and be in the moment.

I read recently that when a woman is comfortable with herself “down there” she enjoys sex more.  If you think you’re genitals are dirty or smelly or ugly, you won’t enjoy yourself when someone goes there.  Well, darling, it’s the same with your whole self. If you think you are ugly or somehow unacceptable of course you’re going to avoid getting naked!

It’s time to own your own beauty, inside and out and own your libido by extension.  No pills required.

Besides, they don’t work!  For a comic look at how it might work, check this out.

Men, we’ll talk to you another time about what you can do to help.

Love, Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

3 COMMENTS

  1. Thanks, Christie – I definitely agree with this! One thing I’ve always been told by people that I’ve been intimate with is that they love how unself-conscious I am. That the fact that I’m comfortable with my body and don’t mind being touched (or touching back!) is a huge turn-on. And I have to agree; most people are busy concentrating on how they think they look and trying to look more appealing. But when you’re with someone who’s doing that, it feels like they aren’t at all concerned with how much they – or you – are going to enjoy what’s happening. And not feeling wanted or like your partner is into the moment definitely isn’t much of a turn-on. Hurrah for authenticity!

  2. I have to agree, but also have to add that enough sleep and exercise definitely is a must. If you are exhausted, out of shape, and run down you just ain’t interested

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