On Sunday I spoke at the local Welcome Wagon Baby Fair. I was asked by the new organizer to talk about keeping sensuality alive after baby. The staff member at the event was a little concerned about my topic. I told her not to worry, it wasn’t going to be a raunchy talk and gave her a quick rundown. “Oh, things every woman needs to remember. I love it!”
Whether you’re a mom, wife, single, business owner, employee or retired, the following 5 keys of sensuality are for you!
1. Be present to your senses. We have 5 senses – see, hear, smell, taste, feel – and yet sometimes we can go through a full day, or several days, without even registering anything with our senses. Women have what is called “diffuse attention”. That means we are aware of what’s around us. We notice things like piles of dishes when others – especially the men in the household – don’t seem to notice them at all. There is a lot of stimuli in our world. There’s a lot for us to keep track of and take care of. For that reason we often skate over top of our lives so we don’t get overloaded. My suggestion for you is to be present. Rather than adding to your overload, it will lessen it. It’s like feeling an emotion, when you push it away it grows and eventually overwhelms you. If you feel it and release it, you can move on. Being present to your senses allows you to really feel, to really be aware and to know what is really important. Notice the sights, sounds and smells around you. Take the time to taste your food. Notice how things feel on your skin. Oh, and this goes for inside the bedroom as well as out!
2. Take care of yourself. It’s so easy to put our own needs on the back burner when there are so many demands on your time. I have some bad news for you – you can’t really help anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself. If you’re constantly trying to drive on an empty tank, you will eventually come to a complete stop emotionally and/or physically. If you really want to be there for your family, friends and/or career, you MUST take time for YOU! Write down a list of “selfish goals”, take classes that nourish your interests, have some quiet time daily, read, write, walk – whatever feeds you, DO IT!
3. Accept compliments graciously. I’ve talked about the importance of this many times and it bears saying again. Until every woman can honestly say “thank you” when given a compliment, I’ll keep bringing it up. It’s good for your confidence and esteem and it honors the giver. JUST DO IT!
4. Be your own best cheerleader. It’s part of human nature to look for outside approval. Unfortunately we can’t rely on it. Others have their own worries and concerns. Even if they appreciate you, they may not say it at all or as often as you want. You need to practice being your own cheerleader. Get in the habit of celebrating your success. You did well, you have a right to say it, to know it, to celebrate it. Pat yourself on the back, give yourself a gift, smile in the mirror and remind yourself how amazing you are. Ra Ra Sis Boom Ba!!!
5. Ask for what you want. This can be hard to do, especially if you don’t know what you want. Refer to your selfish goals list, that will help. Being present will also be a big help. When you are clear, then start asking. It will be difficult at first. I promise, like anything, the more you do it the easier it will be. Make your requests in a way that you know you will be heard. This isn’t volume and intensity, it’s doing it at a time when you have the other person’s attention and using clear, specific language. You can’t get what you want/need if the other person/people don’t know what it is. The only person you have to blame if you’re not getting results is yourself. If you think you are already asking for what you want, evaluate how you are asking, what you are saying, when you are approaching people. Modify until you see results. This applies inside the bedroom as well. *wink*
Be your sensual self. Use these 5 keys of sensuality daily. Remember, you are a Bad Kitty; Beautiful, Authentic, Divine, Kompletely, Individual, Totally, True, YOU!
Hugs, Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
Christie@TheBadKitty.com